self love

The Pursuit of “Successful Happiness”

The Goal

Is it  happiness or “successful happiness“that I am  really on the pursuit of?

Am I  unsuccessfully pursing a shared dream…a social idea… a cultural vision, of happiness…?

Could individualizing success, clarify my journey and increase the outcome of achieving my tailored pursuit?

 

 

 If successful happiness is being successful  because your happy…What brings you joy? 

Till next time

One Love 

PhenoMeJMarie

natural hair dolls

So today was a chill normal day…Wished my brother a happy 26th B-day. Purchased natural hair dolls for my daughters b-day. Worked my lovely 9-5 then headed to my sisters for a quick hair touch up before some spiritual enlightenment (aka bible study).

While I was at my sissies I was talking to my niece about her first day of 1st grade. She was telling me that she was the only brown girl in her class and that she wanted to be white 😦

In a seemingly unsuccessful brief attempt, I tried to explain to her that her skin was beautiful because it has history, it had a story and its a blessing to not look like everyone else.

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It was a huge reminder of how important SELF LOVE education is …and how its never to early to start!

SN: On a lighter note…This post helps me rationalize spending way to much on them gorgeous natural hair dolls for my mini me lbs.

What makes your brown beautiful?? 

Jada Pinkett- Smith: Speaking Truth

Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Willow-Portrait

This week I started refining the focus of my blog, which included adding a Lala’s mama page. My daughters name is Alana and bettering myself everyday so that she can have an example to look up to, be proud of and learn from is my mission in life.

One of my inspirations is Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith (the whole Smith family really) because of her poise, wisdom and fearless approach to life. With the Huxtable’s not far behind, the Pinkett-Smith family is truly an inspiring example for me.

Watch this video to see why…No explanation needed….I was sobbing within 1 minute btw.  ENJOY

Be love, seek truth, find purpose

The Journey: Reflection

reflection

Self Reflection: Internal examination

Task: Find a quite space, set the mood so that you can center your energy (candles, lighting, music) and answer the following questions honestly, for your self!

Purpose:  Access your current state…where you are right now, at the beginning of your love journey

Tools: something to document your answers

Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

“Memories Back Then”

Commin back from  horseback ridding with 20 plus church kids yesterday, I felt both tired and youthful!

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All I wanted to do when I got home was watch a movie and relax…I thought about watching my fav coming of age storyGrease” but decided to check out Netflix instead. I ended up watching two rights of passage movies by chance.

The first was “lol” and the other was “Girl in progress

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Both films took me back to my high-school days and made me a lil grateful to be past that confusing period in my life… but It also made me feel for my youngness who are in the midst of that very intense, important and impact-full time.  

The Problem 

I believe were in a day in age where especially young black girls aren’t able to fully experience and grow from this time because they have too many adult issues that they are dealing with….This often seems to be the manifestation of their parents lacking the very thing they are depriving their children from (love, attention, stability, security, reassurance, support,…)

The Result

A family cycle that leads to a life long journey of trying to fill a void with temporary solutions. After the movie I was cleaning listening to to my pandora and this very relevant song came on and inspired this post.

*Explicit Context*

“Then one day I just asked her
“Why you always give your ass up?
I mean damn these hoes get paid
All you do is get laid, this shit don’t add up.”
She said, “Tip, all I wanna do is feel love
Even if I know it ain’t real love
Even if I know a n**** only finna hit it
And then never call back, I still f***” 

The Solution

Commit to knowing the-self and loving the-self …Easier said then done right??? Well from what I hear nothing worth having comes easy.

ARE YOU WORTH IT???  If so join me on the “Self -Love Journey“! 

 Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

Im still getting use to this blogging thing…I think I over think my potential post which results in no post at all 😦 So here is something light for the overdue.

 

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Todays Black Girl who Rocks is Ms. Ella Varner. When asked during an interview about something surprising thing that people don’t know about her she revealed that she had been severely bullied. Saying that “people were mean to me most of my life and told me that I sucked”. Her way of dealing with it was to go home and write songs .

“So Fly” is one of my songs where I wrote about an actual situation where I was never going to get this guy’s attention because I didn’t look a certain way at the time. Since that song I have lost weight but I feel like a song like that, everybody, not just women, can relate to. Feeling like you’re not enough no matter what size you are. So if people picked on me or called me fat, I would just make up songs about it.

For all the brown beauties that felt like their looks feel short! Here’s to you boo, because there’s comfort in feeling like your not alone.

Can you relate??

Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

Why I call you phenos

A young Maya enjoying life

I guess you can say I “officially” embraced this idea of being a phenomenal woman about a year ago, when I tatted the words Phenomenally Me on by right shoulder.  Now yes, permanently marking your body is up for moral debate, especially considering the essence of what it means to be a phenomenal woman… BUT the point is, that in that time in my life it was how I chose to express my public declaration of my phenomenal-ness!

Last Sunday my Pastor/teacher/mentor ended service by reading the poem “Phenomenal Woman” by Dr. Maya Angelou. He was making the point that The Time Is Now, for the community to make it our purpose of insuring that our young brown beauties know their worth.

Each and every girl was born to be phenomenal, in her own unique way, but life has a funny way of stifling our phenomenal-ness with lies, hurt, guilt, shame…the list goes on. I call my readers “phenos” to remind you of who you were born to be.

Phenomenal Women

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Maya Angelou
Much ♥
    PhenoMeJMarie