The Pursuit of “Successful Happiness”

The Goal

Is it  happiness or “successful happiness“that I am  really on the pursuit of?

Am I  unsuccessfully pursing a shared dream…a social idea… a cultural vision, of happiness…?

Could individualizing success, clarify my journey and increase the outcome of achieving my tailored pursuit?



 If successful happiness is being successful  because your happy…What brings you joy? 

Till next time

One Love 


“Memories Back Then”

Commin back from  horseback ridding with 20 plus church kids yesterday, I felt both tired and youthful!


All I wanted to do when I got home was watch a movie and relax…I thought about watching my fav coming of age storyGrease” but decided to check out Netflix instead. I ended up watching two rights of passage movies by chance.

The first was “lol” and the other was “Girl in progress


Both films took me back to my high-school days and made me a lil grateful to be past that confusing period in my life… but It also made me feel for my youngness who are in the midst of that very intense, important and impact-full time.  

The Problem 

I believe were in a day in age where especially young black girls aren’t able to fully experience and grow from this time because they have too many adult issues that they are dealing with….This often seems to be the manifestation of their parents lacking the very thing they are depriving their children from (love, attention, stability, security, reassurance, support,…)

The Result

A family cycle that leads to a life long journey of trying to fill a void with temporary solutions. After the movie I was cleaning listening to to my pandora and this very relevant song came on and inspired this post.

*Explicit Context*

“Then one day I just asked her
“Why you always give your ass up?
I mean damn these hoes get paid
All you do is get laid, this shit don’t add up.”
She said, “Tip, all I wanna do is feel love
Even if I know it ain’t real love
Even if I know a n**** only finna hit it
And then never call back, I still f***” 

The Solution

Commit to knowing the-self and loving the-self …Easier said then done right??? Well from what I hear nothing worth having comes easy.

ARE YOU WORTH IT???  If so join me on the “Self -Love Journey“! 



Im still getting use to this blogging thing…I think I over think my potential post which results in no post at all 😦 So here is something light for the overdue.



Todays Black Girl who Rocks is Ms. Ella Varner. When asked during an interview about something surprising thing that people don’t know about her she revealed that she had been severely bullied. Saying that “people were mean to me most of my life and told me that I sucked”. Her way of dealing with it was to go home and write songs .

“So Fly” is one of my songs where I wrote about an actual situation where I was never going to get this guy’s attention because I didn’t look a certain way at the time. Since that song I have lost weight but I feel like a song like that, everybody, not just women, can relate to. Feeling like you’re not enough no matter what size you are. So if people picked on me or called me fat, I would just make up songs about it.

For all the brown beauties that felt like their looks feel short! Here’s to you boo, because there’s comfort in feeling like your not alone.

Can you relate??



I’m a proud 80’s baby, 90’s kid and TLC was without a doubt one of my favorite groups growing up! I’m pretty proud of the music I listened to back in the day… Maybe options were just better then, but it seems like the music I listened to was about girl empowerment and spreading a positive message… as apposed to, well…the alternative.

This trio deserves mention for seizing the opportunity to influence and empower the lives of the young women who listened to their music…Like ME

TionneT-BozWatkins,   LisaLeft EyeLopes,  RozondaChilliThomas

Tionne+TBozleft eyechili

 Crazy – Sexy – Cool

Why they were the

How could you not  this iconic group? They were fearless in being original with their baggy,” boyish” bright clothes and resilient advocate efforts for safe sex and equality for young girls!  PROOF, that you don’t have to wear tight skimpy outfits to be heard or seen.

The journey to confidence

 Self-confidence was a rocky journey for all three singers; each had to go through some trials to embrace it before they could promote it. Each attributed the struggle to her father’s limitations as a parent (an all too familiar reality still today).  Lopez had an abusive father wile T-Boz & Chilli had fathers that were absent in their lives.

Girl empowerment message

The trio was intentional on the message they sent to young women. The group was uncompromisingly frank about sexuality—insisting that women can make the moves and draw the lines. But ultimately the most important thing was making sure that a young woman had high self-esteem and self-determination.

Last days of left eye

 On April 25, 2002 at the age of 30, left-eye was killed when she lost control while driving. She was in Honduras with family and friends on a 30-day spiritual retreat. Footage she took with a hand-held camera, in the form of diary entries was turned into a documentary.  In these entries, she reflected on her personal life and career. The documentary  reveals an ire experience that is worth checking out.


Are there any other groups or artists today that are similar to TLC, with regard to their message to young women?