New year… New me

The new year for me, represents a time to REFLECT on how I have elevated my self during the past year and a time to ENVISION how I will be my best-self in the coming year!

*snippet* Reflection Of My Elevation: I started 2013 out grateful for a much needed job!  As the year progressed I desired not just a J.O.B but work that was fulfilling…The search began and a little after my birthday I started working at my alma mater LaFollette High school. It’s been sort of twighlightish, but pretty cool non the less.

Noticing: My balance shifted significantly from the job change and because of that many areas in my life were neglected or scarified in the midst of my juggling act. Through my reflection this is an area that will be a priority focus in the coming year.

Envisioning My Best-Self:  For 2014 “I’m goin in” and being smarter not working harder about manifesting my best-self…I have my warrior paint on and I’m F.O.C.U.S.E.D- Following on course until successful!  This year my goal is to put practical theories  of ways to better the self to the test. I will create a vision wall to provide direction and be clear about what I would like to holistically accomplish this year. The plan is to create new habits and set weekly goals to focus on my present self! 

What steps did you take to make this year your best year? 

One love PhenMeJMarie

“Bag Lady”


Life Baggage: As a metaphorical image, it is that of carrying all the disappointments, wrongs, and trauma of the past around with one in a heavy load

* This part of the journey requires complete honesty, a willingness to dig deep and  possibly a trusted friend (other than your partner or spouse) or therapist/counselor.

Acknowledge the feelings: What experiences have caused us pain, hurt you and or left us emotionally and or mentally bruised? Many of our issues are often from our child hood.  Use the example from this  Emotional wellness past post to help with this process

  •  Abused
  • Neglected
  • Abandoned
  • Dishonest
  • Shamed
  • Guilty

Face Issues: Examine how our baggage has manifested in our life.

  • Is our temper a danger to urself or others
  • Trust issues, do we have unhealthy relationships
  • Addictions, drugs, shopping, attention

Change the value: When we put importance on something we give it value. By placing value on how we can grow and better ourself from the baggage instead of focusing on the baggage itself,  then it becomes a powerful tool in freeing ourself. (Part of this requires us to stop telling the same story that caused us baggage over and over again)

  •  A reminder of how I will never be treated again
  • Motivation to do something positive
  • Appreciation for making it through
  • Admiration for resilience

FOGIVE: It is crucial that you reach a point where you can truly let go of the hurt that you have experienced. “No matter how violent it was, how deep it was, how prolonged it was, no matter how much affect there’s been on your life, if you do not extend forgiveness, you are the person stuck with the bitterness and revenge,”  Letting go is not easy and a person may not deserve it and may not even ask for it, but you should extend forgiveness because of what it will do for you.” this includes forgiving yourself if needed.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”



Life Balance…or lack there of!

wellness collage

Wellness = Life balance: Taking care of the Mind, Body and Spirit in a healthy and balanced way

Task: Create your own wellness wheel and see how balanced or not your current life is. No judgments just assessments

  • How much time do I spend with friends family

  • How much time do I spend on Facebook

  • How much time do I spend working

  • How much time do I use to nurture my talents

  • How much time do I spend talking to “God”

  • How am I about trying new things

  • How much time have I spent trying to heal, do I focus on the hurt more then the desire to be healed?

Purpose: We will use the wellness wheel as a visual representation to help us access our current life balance breakdown …My example is kinda bootleg but you get the point 🙂 Look back at this post for more details “The Pursuit of Happy-ness


Tools: Something to create your personal wellness wheel with. Computer, pen, paper, markers, whatever!



In my struggle to choose between talking care of my hair (which has been seriously neglected) or doing the  “30 day challenge”, I realized that  The Natural Hair Journey is very similar to the Self-Love Journey :0

Both Journeys Require

  • Being ready…Researching to know what y0u’r getting into
  • Making a commitment…Making sure your in it for the long haul
  • Investing daily time…Turning daily care into a lifestyle, not a task
  • Being patient with the process…Patience is a virtue
  • Taking care of YOU….The ultimate goal

Enjoy a glimps into my Natural Hair & Self- Love Journey!

The key to both is that it’s a UNIQUE journey…For anyone interested in the Natural Hair journey …lets support, encourage and share with one another on the FB group for the purpose of the common goal, but understand and appreciate that the journey is our own.




Reflection 2: Stepping Back


Soooo um it seems as if my self-love (wellness) challenge is taking up more of my time then expected which is causing a lack of balance in my life. My issues is that I’m so passionate about this stuff that I allow it to take up the majority of my wellness wheel…which means other areas are being sacrificed. 



We cant have that now because it totally contradicts the point of it all! 


All this means is that some life adjustments need to be made is all. I will be reevaluating how I continue to share this process…The evidence of this is clear as I am posting Day 2 on day 3 shm…its all good though. This challenge is clearly needed lol and this is just proof that it is already working 🙂 





Life Work: Emotional Wellness

DAY TWO: July 9th

emotional wellness

Life Work: Day 2- Emotional Wellness 

Today its time to dig deep…yes already, go big or go home right! So go to that place that hurts, that you don’t talk about, that evokes an emotional response just thinking about it…allow yourself to go there, be vulnerable and feel.  

Tip* I started this life work by just centering myself by just being still and quite, and asked  my God to provide me with what I needed to open up and be real, with me. 

My life work reflection: I was taken to the place of guilt, hurt and shame of having my 2nd…yes 2nd  unplanned pregnancy. I caught the emotional unload on video (vulnerability at its best video coming soon as I figure out I movie) and was surprised how emotional I really was about the situation. I love being a solo mama, probably way more then most, but the reality of how my actions will affect my daughter is extremely difficult for me to handle. In retrospect I believe I had some trauma from having an abortion at 17, which led to a “F the free world” kinda attitude or the phrase that was used to describe me more then a few times “cold hearted”. I was mad with  friends, my boyfriend, and anyone else who couldn’t “fix” the situation I had created. It wasn’t until I was able to accept responsibility and truly hold myself accountable that I began to heal and feel again.

I am learning that the longer you wear the “mask” the harder it is to take it off. (hence why I want youth to know this stuff now) I am relearning how to feel again and it feels so good! It’s a process but I’m committed to loving myself so hard,  you gon think I was a Cancer… A lil zodiac humor 🙂

OK nough of this soft stuff… your turn…and remember tears are just words your heart cant say!



Fill the GAP in your GOALS!

A GOAL is a dream with a plan!

clarifyingmoments's Blog

Fill the gap!
Does thinking about your main life goal make you feel as if your looking across the Grand Canyon? A chasm so wide and deep that you will never really be able to cross to the other side? Many people want to achieve a goal- something really big and life changing. They spend a lot of time thinking about doing it, but when it comes down to taking steps and action towards their big vision they feel overwhelmed and lost. Many people feel as if their dreams are always going to be just that, dreams or perhaps even worse think that they will start tomorrow, or in a year, or maybe one day… Yes we know its hard to change and it can be overwhelming but here is something that will make it easier to start working on your goals today, not tomorrow!

*Something to think about* Dr…

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Join the movement!

United colors 19

I am so geeked to start this 30 day challenge in good company 🙂 Before Day 1 has even ended I have some revolutionaries that are down to commit to this challenge with me!!!

If you dare to join the 30 Day Challenge Just do the following 

  1. Come with an open mind and open heart to make a revolutionary change in your life
  2. Get a journal, ipad, phone, laptop, bar napkin…something to document your progress
  3. Do your daily life work assignment and share some or all of your experience from the assignment on the blog or FB page
  4. Do a daily reflection of your day to track your progress and share any interesting insight on the journey (Simply just play your day back to you and journal about it, the things you choose to write about are significant no matter how small.)

Disclaimer: Everyones experience will be different, feel free to tweak/ make adjustments to fit your lifestyle. Use me as a resource to trouble shoot if something isn’t working or resonating with you. Please feel at home in this community. My hope is that this be a place where we can come together for a common goal and support, uplift and encourage one another.


Ps. I will be sharing some resources soon to support you on this journey!



WARNING: An epidemic of stunters has been issued!!!

lol ok,  so I was listening to pandora wile cleaning my kitchen and the throwback “Still Fly” came on and it took me back to a conversation my mother and I had not too long ago on the issue of people having caviar taste on a tuna fish budget. It seems like its become the norm, for especially the black community to have the  flyist nails, shoes, hair, fit and whatever other  material possession they desire to flaunt- Regardless of their financial situation.

I think its more of a mentality thing rather then a financial literacy thing. I could go on and on about why, how and where, I believe this stems from ….but Ill save that for some other post.

WIthout further adieu…The jam back in 02 (smh)

Are you a perpetrator or witness of this plague?