Inspiration

Jada Pinkett- Smith: Speaking Truth

Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Willow-Portrait

This week I started refining the focus of my blog, which included adding a Lala’s mama page. My daughters name is Alana and bettering myself everyday so that she can have an example to look up to, be proud of and learn from is my mission in life.

One of my inspirations is Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith (the whole Smith family really) because of her poise, wisdom and fearless approach to life. With the Huxtable’s not far behind, the Pinkett-Smith family is truly an inspiring example for me.

Watch this video to see why…No explanation needed….I was sobbing within 1 minute btw.  ENJOY

Be love, seek truth, find purpose

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Dream Boards are WACK

My 2012 Vision Boardvision board

If your like me, I was in LOVE with dream boards before I realized they were only part of the process. In order to make a dream reality, we must set goals!

Goals are essentially an action plan to make your dreams come true

I learned this from Ms. Shanell cooper Sykes on her AMAZING “Secrets of Dreamer” 7 day journey. Let her tell you in her own words why exactly vision boards are useless!!!! 

Here are some pics of my F.O.C.U.S board ….make your own so you can Follow On Course Until Successful 🙂

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My Focus board is on top of my 2012 vision board in my room to remind me every morning and night to stay focused!

 Feel free to ask me details about my board or help getting started with your own

Self love journey

In the words of my girl India “Life is a journey not a destination” 

I last shared about how my “30 Day Self love Challenge ”  was starting to contradict its purpose of obtaining wellness…(balance) to my life! So I did some reflecting and the result manifested “The Journey”

The Journey

 Everyday I will send you a video explaining the next step in the journey. This will provide you with enough options to know what works for you!

Assessment 

1:What is Self- love

2 : Reflect on the current you

3. Assessing your current and ideal life balance

4 : Analyze your life baggage

5. My God

Adjust

5.Make an action map “A goal is a dreams with an action plan”

6. Baggage to blessings

6.Our language

7. Values and Beliefs

8: Practice Accountability

Apply

9. Practice gratefulness (Spiritual tools)

10. Pay attention (Purpose tools 110)

11. Affirm yourself: (Daily mantras)

12. Reflection on process (Share thoughts from the journey)

13. *FOCUS Plan*

The Journey: Guidelines 

  1. You can start at any time (If you join on late just look at old videos and go at your own pace)
  2. Ask for help if you don’t understand something,
  3. Pay attention to what resonates with  you and what dosent…question why?
  4. If  for whatever catastrophic reason you  miss a day or just cant complete a day,  continue on the journey
  5. Adapt the journey to your lifestyle

“Memories Back Then”

Commin back from  horseback ridding with 20 plus church kids yesterday, I felt both tired and youthful!

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All I wanted to do when I got home was watch a movie and relax…I thought about watching my fav coming of age storyGrease” but decided to check out Netflix instead. I ended up watching two rights of passage movies by chance.

The first was “lol” and the other was “Girl in progress

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Both films took me back to my high-school days and made me a lil grateful to be past that confusing period in my life… but It also made me feel for my youngness who are in the midst of that very intense, important and impact-full time.  

The Problem 

I believe were in a day in age where especially young black girls aren’t able to fully experience and grow from this time because they have too many adult issues that they are dealing with….This often seems to be the manifestation of their parents lacking the very thing they are depriving their children from (love, attention, stability, security, reassurance, support,…)

The Result

A family cycle that leads to a life long journey of trying to fill a void with temporary solutions. After the movie I was cleaning listening to to my pandora and this very relevant song came on and inspired this post.

*Explicit Context*

“Then one day I just asked her
“Why you always give your ass up?
I mean damn these hoes get paid
All you do is get laid, this shit don’t add up.”
She said, “Tip, all I wanna do is feel love
Even if I know it ain’t real love
Even if I know a n**** only finna hit it
And then never call back, I still f***” 

The Solution

Commit to knowing the-self and loving the-self …Easier said then done right??? Well from what I hear nothing worth having comes easy.

ARE YOU WORTH IT???  If so join me on the “Self -Love Journey“! 

 Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

 Point A (where we are right now)

♥ Wellness Wheels (btw)

The pursuit of happiness!

This is how my joint is looking right now …well not exactly, but it’s not balanced! The goal of  living well is to get each area as balanced as possible- meaning no area is sacrificed for another. (The areas can be tweaked to fit your life)

 

Point B (Where we want to be)

wow wellness

THIS is what we are all really striving for….This is what the pursuit of happiness looks like. For the next 30 days I am going to start small on making adjustments in my life to help me ultimately achieve and maintain a healthy balanced life. Join me if you dare, the more the merrier!

*SN. “The Pursuit of Happyness” Is one of my favorite movies by the way

Whats your wellness wheel looking like? 

Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

30 Day Challenge !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So today I decided I’m staring this 30 Day Challenge! The point is to hold me accountable to being the best example I can be for my daughter. Through my passion for  motivating youth, I stress that knowing and being your best self is the golden rule to life….And uh since thats a pretty strong claim to make, I need to commit to practicing what I preach!

 BOOT CAMP TIME BABY!!!

Pheno’s 30 Day Challenge (P3DC):

  • Setting Goals using the wellness wheel to maintain balance
  • Using life as a classroom
  • Constant assessment
  • Daily reflection
  • Overal evaluation

Thats like the super basic version…But if WHEN completed,  the results will be revolutionary in my life… Especially when I plan to do this every other month for at least the next 365 days! To really understand what Im talking about just get to know me, as I get to know me for the next 30!

P3DC Begins (last nights impromptu video lol) …Don’t judge 🙂

Much 

PhenoMeJMarie

“Awkward Black Girl” Flow

AWG flow

I was feeling pretty dang on good Monday…Considering the fact that it was my first day back to work after a 10 day vacation.

I felt so good that my inner lyricist was inspired, and as I sported my Afro I was reminiscent of “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” (Created flow on Monday, “video shoot” was on Tuesday, posted blog on wed…hence no fro)

Yes I Rocks that super natural

I see you checkin my physical

I say I’m more type spiritual, like lyrical for ya melodic soul

I know that I’m eccentric, rebellious, magnificent

Straight lovin this Midwestern chick with southern roots

Huxtables, 2 parents and a stable roof

Ms. Evileen turned to a queen

lookin back the piece’s started con-nec-ting

my past is packed, so do stay tuned

Cuz Please belive Ms. pheno-Me’s dreams will come true!

  Love it or hate it its all for fun, now you know what goes through my mind on my lunch breaks 🙂

Cheya! lol

Let me hear some of you hidden flows… Dont be Scured

Natural Hair Dolls Oh My!

Natural Hair Dolls Oh My!

This discovery just gave me LIFE!!!

Natural Girls & Women United customizes natural hair dolls ranging from about $40- $140.

As a new mommy to a baby girl, it makes my heart smile to know that my Alana can and will (as soon as they lift the hold on orders) have dolls that represent her culture in an authentic way.

Being a brown beauty, in a white dominated society, it is no doubt challenging and definitely affects us in both a subconscious and conscious way. I college, I remember watching “A Girl like Me“, a video made by Kiri Davis in 2005 where she revisits the experiment done by Keeneth Clark in the 1940s.   In the experiment African-American children were asked to choose between black or white dolls and explain their preference.

A few days ago the gorgeous brown beauty Chime Edwards re-conducted this experiment relating it to natural hair, rather then skin color. She used a natural-haired doll and a straight-haired doll to see which doll’s hair type a group of Black children preferred.

All of the experiments are intriguing, but none of the results are surprising…Welcome to the reality we live in. Natural Girls & Women United provides an opportunity for brown beauties to embrace their sun kissed skin, and tangled tresses without doubt that they are totally DOPE!

Here’s one for the team! Keep ya head up and your hair nappy my lovely Brown Beauties

Much

PhenoMeJMarie

 

Niggers & Blessings in 2013

Disclaimer:  I am blatantly using the N word to make a point. Not meant to offend but to educate

So hear me out…

Yesterday was a beautiful day! I was a proud youth leader as the kids in my church killed the flash Mobb performance, dancing to Yolanda Adams “I Believe” for youth day. And instead of a sermon, we had Guy, who is a refugee from Darfuri speak to the congregation about his experience.

So to say the least I was in a pretty positive place after leaving service…  About 2 minutes later I was called a “Nigger” for the first time in my 24 years of life .

I wasn’t mad though…I was more like, really my dude! I understand you yelling “watch the sign” but why you have to add “NIGGER” to the end of the sentence? How is that even relevant to my driving ability?? (Replay of my exact thoughts)

As I continued to drive home I figured I guess I was lucky for it taking this long for the word to be directed specifically to me.  Still taken aback I wondered… What does it mean to be called a Nigger  in 2013? … While the First family is currently Black!?!

           It means covert racism and mental slavery is some genius ish! And we need to open our eyes before we end up back in time!

To be called a Nigger in 2013 was a blessing for me because …

  1. It touched a nerve and evoked an emotion
  2. It sent a message to my soul saying this is not right
  3. It motivated me to act as a way of responding
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Actually hearing the word NIGGER… brought home the idea that mental slavery is so00 much more dangerous then being slaves in the field. It blinds us from the reality of our current situation and makes us complacent, content and comfortable with the uncomfortable.  Its why a majority of the black community is surviving instead of living.

It’s time we free ourselves from brokenness, illiteracy, systems, and dysfunctional family cycles.  Educate ourselves so we can be advocates for our community and let go of that Government “assistance” that has become our modern day master!

I’m tankful that white man felt compelled to call me a Nigger.  What homeboy didn’t know, was that I’m not your average N*****! Though he didn’t make me angry, he did fuel me to fulfill my purpose,  in educating these brown beauties out here that we STILL have work to do and something to prove!

We have to prove that…

  1. Our ancestors did not get jailed, beat, abused, raped and killed in vain
  2. We are capable of all things & no weapon formed against us shall prosper
  3. Our mind can beat their words if we are committed to educating it
  4. We deserve the best and we wont settle for less when it comes to justice

So thank you Mr. White man,  I was getting a little to comfortable in this utopian, liberal facade called Madison Wisconsin. I promise you every brown girl that crosses my path will have an opportunity to be apart of the REVOLUTION…And believe it will not be televised.

Run tell that!

When was the first time you were called the N word?